Communications
One of the larger themes about my new year’s resolutions is the act of communication. I’m terrible at it. Really, what I’m terrible about is maintaining it. I have a pile of people I want to be in touch with, some going months back, and it’s all I can do just to hang on to these lists and not lose them. Never mind actually keeping up a steady flow of dialogue–I let myself get bogged down in the mundanities of life, and before I know it, it’s 10pm and my school work isn’t even done, so how am I going to find time to write a letter to each of these people (email or otherwise)? On the other hand, minor successes in that front. I have gotten several letters out to friends, and even received replies!
Renewing the commitment here and now. I’m not giving up–I’m staying on fire. Pass the kerosene, please. This bonfire ain’t over till I croak. If you get a wild hair and feel like sending me a letter (and are not already waiting on a reply), do so. I shall respond. Hell, even if you’re waiting on a reply. One thing I don’t get is silence. I try to at least reach out to people, and sometimes all I get back is crickets. What’s the limit? How many times do you reach out to silence before giving up? I have lost contact with some of my dearest friends simply because I never hear back from them. And that tears the shit out of me, because I have no way of knowing if I’ve done something wrong or if life is just eating them up or what.
It’s funny–part of this is self-inflicted. I have purposefully left facebook, for instance. The light’s on, but I don’t log in unless someone prompts me to. I don’t read it. I don’t use it. And the reason for that is partly because it ended up being me just watching other people, and posting meaningless things that got ignored. That, or the format constrained any attempt at serious discussion to sound-byte levels despite its attempt at threaded topics. At least on Twitter there are the virtues of concision and direct address, and the built-in glibness of the whole thing means that if you want serious discussion you must take it to a better forum anyway. I am finding fewer and fewer reasons to use facebook. It’s now one of my many address books. 
My family has a communication problem in general. Mother won’t talk to father, sister won’t talk to mother, brother only talks to me and mother…it’s ridiculous. But I suppose my communication difficulties should, then, come as no surprise.