Being and Doing
Ordinarily, I’d cue the meta-whining about not writing. Instead of that, however, I wish to express gratitude for this recent season of my life. It has been unproductive in the sense that I have written relatively few words on this here blog or in the novels that I have floating around, but I have nevertheless been tilling soil and laying down fertilizer. Or maybe chopping wood and carrying water. I have the inestimable Freya West to thank for reminding me of the seasons of life. Instead of struggling against the fact that I haven’t been writing, I can look back and see that I have been living and doing. Which is, of course, necessary for writing.
The beer has been the chief activity. Indeed, I seem to have stumbled on a possible lifelong habit–usually this sort of thing fades within 6 months or so. I do have a unique motivator in that (warning, newsflash approaching) I am brewing the beer for my best friend’s wedding. This spring, I concocted some recipes with Clinton’s guidance, and we of Demoncat Brewing cooked up about six different styles. I brought them up last week for the couple to taste, and we have narrowed the selection down to three solid styles for their wedding: a bold, malty ESB; the dark, delicious substance known to some as the Bubonic Porter, and a tart, complex, and refreshing saison. We have a brewing schedule in place, and are set to have three hundred (yes, 300) bottles capped and conditioning by the first week of October. (The wedding is in November.)
But beer alone has not sustained me. I am now a member of the NC State Wolfpack, having been accepted into the MAT program with a focus in Special Education only a couple of weeks ago. I had forgotten (or perhaps simply shoved to a dark corner of my mind) the inanity of the various bureaucratic processes I must attend to in order to get my admission finalized, but instead of whining about that, I’m simply doing it, stepping through one thing at a time. I’m still tracking down my vaccine history, but I have full confidence that I won’t screw this up.
All the while, of course, working at the vet clinic. Now that I am serving as a full technician, I feel more fulfilled. I am constantly learning, and the work environment feels less hostile to that fact. Whereas when I served in the kennel technician capacity, trying to take my education in hand felt like I was at best swimming upstream if not meeting outright obstruction. But the situation has changed, and I am content to set aside the anger that stayed with me for so long.
And, of course, Dragon*Con is just around the corner. I have two excellent new costumes planned, and with my loving partner’s help we’ll have them well in hand come late August. One is an interpretation of Theon Greyjoy from A Song of Ice and Fire, and t’other is a generic steampunk. I shall also reprise my Star Trek science officer costume so I have three. I wish I had done the one I still aspire to–a fully-powersuited Samus Aran–but as you can see, I had a decent handle on my priorities. And there’s always next year 
In short, being off the wagon is feasible; it just requires the courage to dive in. I am suited to taking the big bite. I just need to practice chewing like hell.