February has been rough

February 17th, 2015 | Tags: , , , ,

But it’s not over yet, and I feel like I can get it back. To start, here’s my HabitRPG for February so far:

A Healer, supposedly

So, I made it to level 10 and became a Healer by the end of January. I was rocking out, learning how to use “poison” Dailies to good effect. But when the school semester began in earnest, I started to lose my grip on the really important tasks. Plus side to it, I’m actually getting consequences, rather than just feeling guilty; half my gear has been destroyed and I’ve lost so much coin. I’m at the point of losing something really valuable to me, my Gumdrop Sword. (Oh noes!) I can’t just re-buy it, and it’s just cool-looking. So I just need to suck it up, McNugget, and do the stupid poison dailies that have been plaguing me.

One useful side-effect about this is that it’s also a calibration of my self-honesty. In January I was getting a handle on how to use it, and I had only been plugging in things that were vaguely important (I mean, sure, ideals, but not a lot of practical substance). And it was good practice. But now I’ve pared down, relegating the idealistic stuff to Habits and using the Dailies for the truly consequential items. It is showing me how badly I do procrastinate on things that seem patently easy to do, and the more important it is, the more likely it seems I’ll quail at the task. Shame rears its ugly head and nibbles at my soul.

So, going forward, I’m going to stop wearing armor. I’ll buy stuff to wear for costumes, but boosting my CON is just protecting me from the harsh reality of bad habits. (I will, however, accept other stat boosts, because they increase my rewards for doing good things. It is, if you will, a double-edged sword.)

I introduced this to one of my ADD kids, and he really took to it. To his credit, he immediately saw the importance of honesty that this system requires, and that it actually nourishes. I feel like I’m actually doing some good in the world these days.

Back to the grind!

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