No way to live

January 1st, 2013 | Tags: , , ,

There is a Scylla in my brain, that grabs my executive function and wrests it away from me every time I catch a glimpse of the way forward. Writhing tentacles whip around in there, gripping my motivations. Sometimes it will dangle them in front of me, taunting me with what I already know. I have spent this vacation first sick, and now paralyzed, with enormous responsibility ahead to wrap up the semester. And the guilt about not mastering my fears and problems spirals in, tightening the chains still more.

Whining about it doesn’t accomplish anything in the way of goals. But I don’t know what to do, so I’m at least trying to describe the shape of the problem.

No comments yet.