Back on track

January 6th, 2013 | Tags: , ,

I am all too aware that my consciousness is a small craft in a sea of chemicals. Sometimes the neurotransmitter tide swells, and waves wash over me, inundating this poor vessel. Other times the squalls clear, leaving dopamine-blue skies and smooth sailing. (I should go look up Horace and his ode to the ship of state again, but it’s late.) I have made it through the recent storms, or at least into a quiet, which may simply prove to be the eye of the maelstrom. I am on my way to becoming a full-time teacher, which will give me insurance and thus medication. Then we’ll have ourselves a real ballgame.

As it stands, I’ve made it this far–no reason not to keep on trucking. These kids of mine are actually learning some Latin, and a little corner of the Internet keeps on humming, and suicidal thoughts don’t plague me nearly as much. I remain Chesterton’s impatient man, though unlike him, I sail for truly undiscovered country rather than back to familiar haunts and ports with eyes anew. I have been brooding over things, and I shall write up my items of resolve in short order.

The semester begins again very soon. My first class at NCSU is next Wednesday, and the spring semester begins two weeks after that. I still have some shlepping to do before I am ready, but I am no longer bogged down by the beast’s tentacles. At least, I’ve won a reprieve. So, I’ll take it, despite the stress and anxiety.

Not giving up!

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