No rest

June 6th, 2012 | Tags: , ,

This is where I come back when I need to remotivate. This blog is an outlet to the world, and even though it’s full of whining, it’s still my outlet.

I am feeling rather defeated these last few months. From society gutting the rights of my fellow North Carolinians to marry in the eyes of the law for the sake of some bullshit religious tenet, to the simple fact that I can’t do all the things I have set out to do, I am bent. The maelstrom in my head eats it all. I am waking up these days at 8am, only to curl up until 11 or so because I am sick with stupid, pointless worry over all the ways I need to try to fix my life. So many projects in my head that I must do in order to live the life I want to live, and everything crumbles the moment I reach for them. This is not an unfamiliar place. I have been here before. My answer used to be to just give up on most of it, and let it fester in my brain as another failure of will, while shamefacedly finishing what little remained. Not anymore.

Responsibility is not something to be shirked. I must carry through, finish the job. Ray Bradbury died today. If I owe him anything at all (and I owe him a great deal, indeed), it is to get back to work.

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